Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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