is your mom at the bar?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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