And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize