she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Randomize
