we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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