like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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