Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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