we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
