jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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