Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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