Swine flu is the new snow day.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
