He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
