I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
