Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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