And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
