You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
