i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
worst night to have a conscience
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
