I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If I had your ass I would rule the world
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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