Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
