I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to calm my uterus...
Please don't give away my fajitas
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
