Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
