K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
