There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
