well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
