I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
being pregnant is like rehab
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
