how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Alive.
So much puke
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't put those talents on a resume
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
