Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
