We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
