Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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