More tranny stories later!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
FUCK WHALES
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
