so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
