you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
