He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
