dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
