I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
