you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
