the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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