her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
