for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
