She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
