youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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