After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
