just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
