hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
