i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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