the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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