oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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