Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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