walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
