Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize