the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
