You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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