'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
