what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My ass is underappreciated
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
