i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
