Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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