are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
