But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
zippers are such a cool invention
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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