I just made out with a guy for $7.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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