I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize